You be the judge. . . .or not.


I love honesty.  Even when it hurts.  I love making friends with real people because I feel more comfortable within a friendship that is real.  I don’t have to pretend to be someone I am not.  I have never been one to make myself appear more awesome than I am.  I am what I am.  And my friends love me just the way I am.  And along with honesty comes freedom.  Every time I am struggling with something, there is a feeling of freedom that arises when I share it with others.  And in addition to my own freedom, I know that others may be struggling with the same thing. . . .and just knowing that you are not alone can be freeing too.

One of the biggest struggles of my entire life has been judging others.  It is such a natural inclination for me that I never saw it as a negative quality.  It was more of a personality flaw to me.  A tendency.  But in recent months, God has been really hitting me hard in this area.  Just today. . . .yesterday. . . .the day before.  I used to be able to judge people without a second thought. . . .but I now feel an extreme sense of guilt every time I get the least bit judgmental.  So there it is.  My dirty little secret.  I judge people.  ALL  THE  TIME

Transparency is a vulnerable place, but I am always willing to go there.  Why?  Because my true friends will continue to be my friends.  My fake friends. . . .maybe not.  And since they are fake, I won’t miss them.  It is never easy to admit a fault, especially one that affects others the way mine does.

Judging.  My own definition for judging others is: analyzing another’s actions or choices and deciding that they are stupid.  No joke. Aren’t I correct?  When we judge others. . . .and we don’t agree with them. . . .our conclusion is: “well that’s stupid.”  And then we wonder why on earth they do it that way and continue to tell ourselves how we do a much better job or that we are smarter than they are.

This is terrible!  I know many of you do this, but you might not be as willing to admit it.  Am I right?  A judgmental attitude ruins friendships.  But this attitude even ruins you.  You become angry and bitter toward people who do stupid things.  Like the guy who cuts you off on the highway.  Or the lady who “should” put her unruly toddler in a cart instead of allowing him to walk in the store.  Or why is that dummy standing on the LEFT side the moving sidewalk in the airport??  They should do it MY way because I’ve tested it.  My way is just better.  Sound familiar?  It makes us angry inside when we are continually judgemental.

I have been strongly convicted over the past few months, and now I must do something about it. I am making the choice to stop these thoughts because they are destructive.  When the thought comes into my mind, I take it captive.  Then I immediately force myself to imagine what I would feel like if another person were thinking that about me.  How awful would I feel to know what they were really thinking?  Now let’s be honest.  That all sounds great, but I know when I feel like judging. . . .I WANT TO DO IT!  I don’t want to stop because it feels good to judge someone else.  It elevates my mood and makes me “appear to be” the better person.  Easier said than done.  This will be an ongoing battle for me, but I know I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  Nothing is impossible with Christ!

I challenge you to get rid of your judgmental attitude.  Start off by taking a dry erase marker and write on your bathroom mirror: “Let God be the judge.”  And then put it into action.  Recognize when you have these thoughts, reverse them onto yourself, and stop the cycle.  Your family and friends will thank you, and you will be a happier, more confident person.  Your confidence will no longer be boosted by quietly tearing others down in your mind.  Your confidence will be true and genuine.  Good luck!


2 thoughts on “You be the judge. . . .or not.

  1. Something most of us struggle with, but the point is just that… struggle with it. Thanks for sharing yours so candidly. Helps me with mine!

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