Things I have learned as a military spouse

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Dining Out 2005

I started this blog entry back in 2014, and as I was going through my drafts, I found it.  It’s fun to run across something you NEVER remember doing!  So here it is. . . .4 years late, but still. . .. . . .

Due to a serious of unfortunate events early on in my husband’s career, I was only a military spouse for 3 1/2 years.  My military man is now medically retired, but he will always be an airman to me.  He completed his initial training and OTS in Alabama and PCS’d (that’s military talked for. . . .”we moved”) to Tyndall AFB in Panama City, FL.  Talk about a culture shock.  My husband hails from Cleveland where there is snow for 8 months out of the year and it is ALWAYS cloudy and dreary (or I could be exaggerating a bit. . . .at least it felt that way when I lived there for a year and a half).  And I came from humble Amarillo, TX where the sun is shining, the grass is green, the orange and palm trees sway. . . .wait. . . .no. . . .the sun is shining, the grass is brown, the air is dry & the trees are dying.  That’s more accurate.  Sorry.  I digress. . . . .We were married a week before I moved with him out to Florida in 2005 & we lived in a sweet little house with red and white trim.  We spent every Saturday mowing and prettying up the lawn. . . .doing fixit jobs around the house.  Fresh seafood was EVERYWHERE!!!!!  We could go to the beach for free whenever we wanted to.  We watched friends get baptized in the ocean once a month.  We went to house parties for every holiday and occasional at other officer’s homes.  Tom’s Hot Dogs was a jumpin’ little joint.  Oh the chili dogs!!!!!  And I must not forget that Panama City had sunsets to die for.  Absolutely gorgeous.  Spring break was a special time when we drove down to Panama City Beach and watched the craziness that was MTV and naked people running around.  Fun Times.  We spent evenings at the coffee shop across town (it literally took us maybe 15 minutes to get there. . . .) where we listened to good jazz and enjoyed each other’s company. . . . . . I look back on it with fond memories.  Life was simple then.  Not a lot to worry about except ourselves and our young dogs.  Even though hindsight is 20/20, I can’t help but remember spending day after day wishing and praying that God would let us move out of that city.  I truly hated it there when I was in the middle of it.  For heaven’s sake. . . the city didn’t even have a highway!!!!!  Even Amarillo has a highway, people.  So I spent more time wishing I were somewhere else than counting my blessings.  Live and learn.

Even though our military time was short, we learned several things:

1.  Friends come ready-made for you. They welcome you and get to the nitty gritty right off the bat.  When you move every 3-4 years, you learn how to make close friends by skipping the small talk.  Many of my friends from that time are still in contact with me because of that reason.

2.  Play the part.  Being a military spouse, specifically an officer’s wife, is an acting job if it doesn’t come natural to you to be proper.  One must learn the lingo and talk intelligently.  One must attend all social functions at the AFB and dress to impress.  Always remember your manners.  And above all, go to the tea parties with the officer wives.

3.  You are a refection of your spouse.  Everything you say and do is being watched and noted.  Your actions can affect your spouse’s ability to move rank.

4.  If you plan on making a quick stop by the base to update your ID, expect to wait at least an hour along with a room full of other people wanting to make a quick stop by the base to update their ID.

5.  The benefits!  This is the best part!  We get to stay at any hotel at any base for a very cheap rate as long as space is available.  We can fly space-A on military planes.  What’s that, you say?  We get to fly free.  Military discounts at restaurants, stores, even Goodwill!  Disneyworld offers major discounts as well.  As retired military, we keep these amazing benefits.

6.  Avoid the commissary in the morning time and around the 30th-1st of the month.  All of the retirees converge on this place at those times because we only get paid once a month, and it reminds me of the episode in the 9th season, episode 3 of “How I Met Your Mother”.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go watch it right now!

7.  You never know when they will take your spouse away for 2 weeks, a month, 6 months or a year.  Cherish every moment together.

8.  Don’t take military life for granted.  Live life in the here and now.  Stop wishing that tomorrow would come and bring bigger and greater things because we are not guaranteed tomorrow.  But today. . . .ah. . . today is here and ready for us to grab hold.  Be content where you are because you will look back and wish you had appreciated the present more.

Life in the Fast Lane

IMG_8910When I was growing up, I felt like the years moved so slowly.  When will I ever be 13?  I want to be a teenager!  I can’t wait until I can drive!  How much longer until I graduate?  This is taking forever.  LIFE is taking FOREVER!  I just want to be a grown up.

Life seemed to move at a snail’s pace until I turned 34.  That was the year our daughter was born.  And that was the year life flipped over to the fast lane.  It isn’t explainable.  And it isn’t preventable.  It just happens suddenly.  The experts don’t warn you about this!  The baby years went by in a flash, but the days felt so long and hard.  Those days just dragged on and on.  By the time our daughter turned 3, we switched gears again.  You know how things look blurry when they go by too fast?  That’s what age 3 to age 7 has been like for us.  She is growing out of clothes so fast, I can’t keep up.  I blinked, and she was no longer a “baby”.  No longer a “little” girl anymore.  She has attained big girl status.  And is proud of it!

As we enter into new territory where our daughter is apparently “almost as tall” as us according to her, I often reflect on her little girl days.  They say that you don’t remember the bad as much as the good, but oh I remember the bad.  We had so many struggles.  But I remember it in a different light.  Looking back is easier than living in the present because you can paint it to be whatever you want.  You can remember whatever you want and forget what you don’t want to remember.

Oh how I wish life would slow down.  Our parents are aging, our daughter is growing, our gray hairs are coming in WAAAAY too quickly.  So as I reflect on the past, I am reminded to cherish the little things.  Embrace the moments where our child is being annoying or ridiculously silly, and do what I do. . . .say, “we are making memories right now.”  After a long day of dealing with a cranky and tired child, I am not always in a laughing mood. . . .if I’m completely honest, I am not smiling, laughing or finding anyone the least bit funny.  But those impromptu goofy moments are ones that find a way of sticking in our memory bank.  Accept them, let yourself enjoy them, and tuck the memory away for safe keeping.  Because in a few years, you will need something to look back on as you say once again. . . .oh how I wish life would slow down.

 

Monthly Meal Planning Review

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I consider myself to be an organized person.  Messy, but organized.  It may be ironic, but I have a tendency to leave things sitting out:  random cups, shoes, underwear.  You know. . .normal stuff.  My husband thinks he is so funny when he finds my cups sitting around the house & puts them all on one table.  One time, he gathered up all of my shoes and set each pair of shoes on their own step on our staircase.  Hilarious, isn’t he?  Well, this “messy” person loves to be organized.  It is where I find the calm in the storm.  I get in a zone when I organize.  I have organized files, notebooks of music, organized stuffed animals, categorized bathroom toiletries, canned goods, labeled pantry items, an organized refrigerator (well most of the time). . . .you name it, chances are I have either organized it or thought very seriously about it.

So naturally, monthly meal planning sounded awesome to me in a nerdy sort of way.  But just as great as it sounded, it was just as scary too when I started to think about the execution of it all.  Not only would I have to plan out meals, but I would need to gather 20-30 recipes that all of us like, write out all of the ingredients to make a grocery list, decide which items needed to be purchased monthly or every two weeks or every week, make a note of when we didn’t need meals because of travel or special plans. . . . . .  And at that point, this great idea turned into an organizational nightmare for me.  I started slowly by making a list of 20 meals for the month & then I wasn’t tied down to a specific recipe for each day.  We could choose what we wanted to make from the list at any time.  But this turned into more of a nightmare than I was already in.  It was hard to plan the grocery trips because we didn’t know what was on the menu.  So I decided to tackle monthly meal planning the “right” way.

In the beginning, I tried excel programs that would generate a handy dandy little grocery list.  Well this was a big fail because I did NOT want to spend hours inputting all of my recipes and ingredients, just hoping I typed them in correctly.  If you forget just one ingredient or input the wrong measurement, your grocery list will be wrong.  So then I tried AllRecipes.  I made lists using their recipes and my own.  But again, I had to input my entire recipe if I wanted to use it in the list.  So again, I did not have the patience for this.  Too much brain power.  And plus, I have a love affair with paper.  I make lists better on paper, I follow lists better on paper, I brainstorm better on paper. Everything is just better with PAPER!

After a few months of torture and sticking with it (because I REFUSED to give up. . . .my first name means “determination”), I came up with a pretty good plan to make it work.  For some of you, excel might be super awesome, and for others AllRecipes is great.  But for those of you like me, this will be your saving grace!  Here we go.

First, join AllRecipes.  You don’t have to do this to make it work, but I must say, it is nice.  A great place to store your recipes in case something happens to them.  It also allows you to make a list if you want and add in your own recipes.  They will also send you a nice magazine (with a subscription) with even more recipes!!!  I use AllRecipes primarily for storing and researching good recipes.  So far, all of the highly rated recipes have been amazing.  Second, print out a year’s worth of blank calendars.  You can just do a google search for this or go here (I use “landscape” starting with Sunday).  Third, locate a pencil.  They’re cheap.  If you don’t have one, go buy one.  They still sell these things!  Fourth, gather up all of your recipe books that you want to pull from & sit yourself in front of the computer.  Fifth, fill in the numbers for the month on your calendar.  Now you are ready to begin!

Before planning my month, I take out a separate sheet of paper & always write down all the days of the month that we will not be making dinner at home.  It may be due to travel, going out on a date, grilling at a friend’s house, etc.  Write those dates down and mark them off of your calendar using a big X.  Then, identify days that you need a simple meal:  days you are working all day, or you will be at an activity that leaves you no time at home.  Write these dates down on your extra sheet of paper under the heading, “simple” & mark those days on your calendar with a highlighter.  Now count how many days are left on your calendar for normal meals.  And count how many days you will make simple meals.  This gives you an easy way to plan!  Now all you have to do is go through your recipes and count them up until you have enough for the month.  Then lastly, subtract 1-2 regular recipes from your list.  Unexpected things happen all the time & I have found that we end up with extra ingredients for recipes we didn’t cook every month.  And since you’re using a pencil, you can erase and add whenever you need to!  And if you hubby decides to eat Mexican food for lunch on the day you’re cooking tacos for dinner (true story, ALL the stinkin’ time!), it’s an easy fix to just switch your days around since you already have the ingredients for the week or more!  Isn’t this awesome?  Behold, there is flexibility within the monthly meal planning beast.

AllRecipes has a search feature where you can find healthy meals, easy meals, crockpot meals, etc.  It is wonderful.  I always print my recipes out because again, I am all about paper.  If you like using the iPad or your phone, they have a kitchen version of each recipe that is easy to read if you are using a device as you cook.

Once you have collected your list of recipes, simply write the name of each recipe on the calendar where you would like to make it.  By the end of this step, you will feel VERY accomplished!  And time-wise, it doesn’t take as long as you may think to get to this point.

Next, here is the part that can be tricky.  It does steal some brain power, so don’t do it when your children are awake!  It is time to make your list.  Look at your first week of meals.  Gather the recipes & make your list.  Put the produce list and anything that will perish after 1 week or less on a separate column labeled week 1.  Do the same thing for week 2, keeping the produce & perishables in a separate column labeled week 2.  Keep doing this until you finish out the month.  Produce rarely lasts longer than a week, so you have to purchase it weekly or every other week.

Once you have your list, you should have one main list and 4 produce/perishables list.  Mine looks something like this.

 

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It can easily be done on a computer too if you prefer the electronic version.  And just think, you only have to do this once a month.  And if you have a young child like I do, this is a life saver!  One big trip to the store, 2-4 little trips for produce.  And that’s it.  Doing this has added so much time to my week & has eliminated the stress of not having the ingredients I need for a meal. . . .or having to go to the store once or twice a week for just a few items.  It did take some time for me to get into a groove, but now it’s second nature and well worth the learning curve.  Below, I have shared some life hacks that I learned along the way.

If you are interested in planning breakfast, which sounded overwhelming to me, try this idea:  Choose 5 different breakfast ideas like smoothies, cereal, waffles, eggs, oatmeal, etc.  Write them at the very top of your calendar in list format.  Add them to your grocery list & be sure to buy enough for each family member to eat each meal once or twice a week depending on how many items you choose.  Then when it is breakfast time, you have all the meals you need in the kitchen and all you have to do is choose from your list.  This is great for children because you don’t have to wonder what you will fix for breakfast every morning, but it also allows them to have a choice.  You won’t run out of breakfast food because you have somewhat of a plan without being too regimented.

Time hacks in the kitchen (& money savers):

For produce, freezing can be an option, depending on how you are using it.

I have found that buying chopped, frozen onions is an excellent time saver, produce saver & money saver.

You can freeze chopped bell peppers, but they will be a little soggy after freezing.  Only use frozen peppers if you are mixing them into a dish and don’t need the crunch.

If you are a smoothie lover for breakfast, but hate having to chop up and prepare everything, try this!  Buy a ton of bananas, peel and slice them up once they’re ripe.  Put each sliced banana in it’s own plastic cheapie flip top bag.  Gather all the bags of sliced bananas & place them in a gallon size ziploc bag.  Throw them in the freezer & you have smoothie bananas!  Each bag will make 1 1/2-2 smoothies, depending on how much other fruit you add.  You can also do this with strawberries, blueberries, etc.  Or just purchase them in the frozen section at your grocery store.  For a sweet smoothie, try this:  approximately 1 cup vanilla almond milk, frozen banana slices, handful of semi-sweet chocolate chips, 3 T of peanut butter (or more depending on what you like) and 1-2 T of honey.  Mix it up & wow does it taste like a sinful dessert!  Add more or less of each ingredient depending on your taste.

When you do your monthly shop, be prepared to spend an hour or so going through your food and prepping it.  This helps so much, but it isn’t necessary unless you want to have easy prep meals.  As soon as you bring your food home, take all the meat and prep it according to the recipe.  If it calls for 3 chicken breasts, divide them into the amount you need, wrap them well in plastic wrap, foil & ziploc bags, then label them with the recipe name.  Place them in the freezer.  If you need sliced beef for fajitas, do the slicing ahead of time, then freeze them in labeled plastic bags.  If you need 1/2 pound hamburger meat for tacos, cut into that portion size & do the same thing.  Label & freeze.  When it is time for that meal, all you have to do is pull it from the freezer & cook it.  This saves so much time.  You can do this with some of the produce but not all.  To learn more about what produce you can and cannot freeze, go here and here.

If you have any other great ideas related to monthly planning or kitchen hacks, please share them!

Simplify!

Just last week I grabbed my thumb drive. I was in pursuit of my computer. I needed to work on some newsletters and other “stuff”. I plugged it in. . . .and these dreadful words came up: “This device is not readable.” What? Excuse me? I just used it yesterday!!!!! I unplug it. . .and try again. . .”This device is not readable.” I repeat myself, “What? Excuse me?” So I go to my other computer. . .same thing. . . .I go to Paul’s mac. . .same thing. Complicated devices! So this shouldn’t be a big deal. I have all of my information backed-up, right? Nope. I don’t. It’s all gone. I then call the “Geek Squad”. They can help me!!! They tell me they can diagnose for $40 and then fix it for no more than $99. Alright. I can handle that. I will get all of my files back.

So off I go to the Geek Squad. They diagnose it for free, then out comes the guy in the white coat and a badge that says, “officer, Geek Squad.” I chuckle a little until he tells me the bad news. “Well, it’s going to cost $150 to send it off for a diagnosis and then another $300-400 to fix it.” Apparently, it’s bad. I’ve lost everything on there. So what’s on there, you ask? Everything I need for my private practice, private lessons and Soul Fuel Music. I have forms I created, songs I typed out with chords. EVERYTHING! Do I have hard copies? Sure, of some of it. But we have computers! Why do I need to keep hard copies of everything on the computer? Why don’t I just ditch the computer and return to the old-fashioned way of doing things?

So the word “Simplify” has come to my mind recently. Life used to be simple. Everyone had a file cabinet with files for work, health, bills, etc. Those files weren’t going anywhere unless there was a fire, a flood, or a very strange theft. Now, we have “simplified” our lives. We have computers. . . with files that have titles like the ones in our “old” filing cabinets. It’s simple. You create a file, you throw it in your virtual “cabinet”, right? It’s easy. No paper mess. Simple.

Not so much to me. And here’s why: Of course fire. . .or water could destroy those files. But now you have viruses, bugs, crashed drives and the infamous DELETE BUTTON. So you tell me, has this simplified my life? No!! Now I not only have my files on my computer, but the same ones are saved on a thumb drive and then again in printed form in. . . .you guessed it. . . .a file cabinet! Simplify. Ha! If we want to find true simplicity, maybe we should travel back to 1950 when there were no computers, plastic had just made it’s way onto the market, cows didn’t have hormones and chicken didn’t live in cages. Take me back!!!

Old Blog from Panama City Days

These are ALL actual experiences we have had while here in Panama City, FL. Nothing ceases to amaze us anymore!

You know you’re in Panama City, FL when. . . .

1. you see a car full of people, two of them hanging their arms from their windows, holding onto a long ladder (ON THE SIDE OF THE CAR). One of them is the driver. .
2. it’s Sunday and you see more than several yellow busses are parked at Wal-Mart and you don’t see children anywhere. . . . .then all of sudden you see hundreds of migrant workers pile quickly off the bus.
3. you actually think it’s okay to rent a 60″ TV from rent-a-center and fit it in the back of your camaro. They did it! We saw them driving very slowly down the street hours later.
4. you walk into Wal-Mart and you actually see people with no shoes, no shirt. No wonder the trend of putting up signs caught on at local businesses: No shoes, No shirt, No service.
5. You keep looking for highway 77 and highway 98 and come to find out. . . .they’re not highways! They’re just normal city streets. So why do they call them highways? The world may never know.
6. you walk into a doctor’s office & see someone trying to carry their miniature dog into the treatment room in a small, concealled bag
7. It takes 45 minutes to drive 5 miles
8. you have to mow your lawn twice a week, yet have no grass
9. every other car window has something imprinted on it. . .from “hot mamma” to “In memory of”. They’ve got it all here in PC!
10. you ask the locals if there is anything fun to do and they reply with a “muddin”, “fishin” or “nuttin”
11. Goodwill hires out their employees to work as security guards at the local coffee shop
12. the locals ask if your truck is a 4×4. . .when you reply no, why? They are astonished and say. . .. “don’t you go muddin????”
13. the churches boast of having a contemporary service & the 60 person choir comes out in color-coordinated robes, swaying back and forth